The Ex Teacher's Diary

How do you leave a profession you love with any satisfaction?

Well I’m not sure you do.

I’ve spent a large portion of the last year lamenting leaving the profession, secretly hoping that I might find a way to make it work. I even applied for a job not really sure if that was the right thing to do. But I didn’t even get an interview. This was the nail in the coffin I needed. Sad as it might be but necessary. Now to move on. Stop looking back. Stop trying to be a square peg in a round hole.

So new beginnings.

First and foremost, what’s most important? That’s easy. My family. People often ask what it is that you wanted to be when you were a child. And I have pondered my own answer to this question thinking the answer wasn’t black and white for me. I never longed to be a teacher as a child, nor a lawyer or a vet. For a long time I thought I wanted to be a paediatrician, but knew deep down I wasn’t strong enough for that particular path. I did find my answer though. It was simple – a mum. I’d forgotten this simple dream until my children came along. So time to find a new path which allows me to always put my family first. The phrase ‘the days are long but the years are short’ sums up parenthood for me. I am acutely aware of how little precious time I get to spend with my children and I will not miss seeing my children in anything else in order to teach other people’s children. As much as I wish I could do both I can’t and my children deserve more.

Interesting that most people would assume teaching is the ultimate ‘family career’, I certainly did. I have found it almost the opposite. Why is it not more family friendly? Why do we not celebrate job shares? I had a fabulous job share and the children got way more that two part time teachers. They got two dedicated people who gave their all and shared their experiences with one another. Perhaps easier in teaching but in truth I longed to be in leadership and I think having had a taste of that I was struggling not to be a part of the steering the ship. That took me a year to realise. Helpful to understand your own part in things not working out. Also vital to truly moving on.

So I have decided to pursue a career that allows me to train at home and be present for my children.

Am I sad it didn’t work out?

Yes.